Not to Make it About Me...
Six Months in Australia
Technically this is a pop culture newsletter, but what if we pretended that my life was pop culture…? food for thought.
Okay lets be real,,,it’s been six and a half months, but just go with it will you?
When I was first getting ready to move to Australia and people were asking about plans, goals, expectations, etc. my response was always “1. Husband 2. Accent 3. Tan”. Well! Six months in let’s check in!
No husband and frankly further from marrying an Australian than I was when I was living in the US.
Accent wise, I’d like to think that people asking me if I’m Canadian means that I’ve dropped the American accent and am somewhere on the path to the lovely Aussie twang I hope and dream of. I say reckon, arvo, and Melbourne like an Aussie and recently learned the phrase “flat out like a lizard on a log”, so I’d say I’m about halfway to my goal.
Five-ish months in Sydney did wonders on my tan - and before you ask, yes I promise I was wearing sunscreen. Slow and steady baby I promise, Slip Slap Slop!!! No hat no play! Unfortunately, it’s taken just a month in rural South Australia and the beginnings of my first autumn since October 2023 and I’ve lost most of the tan I worked so hard to build.
But hey, 1.5 out of 3 isn’t so bad for just six months in…right?
All of this aside, I stepped into Australia with little to no plan. A hostel booked for the first week and a charged laptop to update my resume once I landed, but truly nothing else. To the point that others were stressed FOR me. But like,,,we’ve done alright!
Sure there was a brief scramble to Melbourne because I thought I was going to hate Sydney, but then I didn’t like Melbourne and suddenly I was back on the overnight train to Sydney with another week booked at a new hostel and some random house inspections lined up. All of this to say, I landed in Sydney for the summer and thank god I had no plan. It gave me the chance to kind of do whatever the fuck I wanted to. There were genuinely zero expectations because I had spent zero energy on plans or what life in Australia was going to look like. Sure, it would’ve been great to not live in a house with 10 other people for my first month in Sydney, but I learned how to kill cockroaches effectively and even chased a bin chicken out of the house. Braver than the troops in a way…
Without the expectations, I had the space to prioritize whatever made me happy and feel good in the moment. Sure it’s a bit short sighted, but my mindset became focusing on the short term as a way to build towards the long term. That if I wake up every day with the intention of prioritizing my happiness that day, then it’d be a habit to the point I’d end up spending my whole life being happy. And in a way, it worked. I found a happiness and a joy that I didn’t think I’d ever find in life again.
There’s a saying “wherever you go, there you are” - essentially, you can’t just move somewhere new and expect you’re going to be a completely new person - your hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles aren’t going to magically change with the move. And sure, I still have the same insecurities, anxieties, and tendencies that I had before, but prioritizing my happiness gave me the space and confidence to work through these parts of myself I thought would weigh me down for the rest of my life. And Sydney gave me the space and energy to prioritize my happiness. I found myself literally skipping down the street because of life was worth living and the sun was shining and the music in my AirPods was PLAYING!!! It’s cheesy and stupid and sure in a world it’s cringe, but none of that made me want to stop any of it.
These six months have also found me as socially isolated as I probably could have imagined, but it’s only given me more appreciation for myself - I have fun with just me! Talking to myself, singing out loud, or laughing at my own jokes, yes I am that crazy person. Sure, I’d love to have more than a small handful of genuine friends in this whole country. I’ve spent my fair share of time scrolling instagram comparing myself to some of the other backpackers I met along the way or getting a bit of fomo from my friends back in the US hanging out together. But, it all comes with time and I’d rather slowly find my people than lose myself along the way. That being said,,,it’s a goal of mine in the second half of this year to focus on my social life a bit more now that I’ve got myself a bit more figured out.
February of this year I decided to get sober. It’s something that a year ago I would have never expected nor predicted. I love a party! And a party loves me! Giuliana recently asked during our road trip how it was going and I was honest with her - it was one of the easiest things I’d done. I know this might be individual to me and that everyone’s challenges with alcohol and addiction looks different, but for me, I no longer had a need for alcohol. I was happy!
I had used drinking for so long as a way to connect with people, to give me courage to be happy, to let my hair down. But, I no longer needed it because my own happiness did the same thing for me. And I found that I could still do everything I did before, but just do it sober. There were nights out until 2 am with just a couple of sugar free Red Bulls. There were awkward first dates that I still laughed about the morning after. There were tears shed over boys. There were house parties where I didn’t know what to say when meeting someone new. The only thing that changed was that I was sober.
Long story short, I feel good! The last six months have felt like years - in the best way. Every day felt like the best day ever and I wouldn’t have changed it. Sure, my social life looks nothing like I’m used to and I have saved less money than I could have expected, but if I leave Australia in a year or ten years and I have the same money I started with, I’ll at least have some of the happiest times of my life.
I’m not sure what the next six months down under will look like and who knows exactly how long I’ll be here, but regardless, these six months have been pretty good, husband or not!
completely unrelated…i’m working on a playlist for my future café. playlist is here, she’s still a work in progress, but the goal will be something that takes you from the sleepy opens through the 8 am rushes to the “let’s get the fuck out of here” closes.
let me know what you think I should add :)